It’s me again.  Mom took me to puppy socialization class again last night.  Wheezer was not there, he graduated even though he humped too much.  So did Caramel and Laia.  I was the biggest puppy in the class by 15 pounds.  The blue ladies said I was good because I made myself small when I played, so the little puppies would like me.  I wonder why the other puppies are so small I am the biggest puppy in the world.  There was a new puppy this week, Radley.  He was a little Lab mix with a tail that curled up over his back.  He never shut up, YAP, YAP, YAP.  His parents said he was a chicken.  We had chickens at our house, I know a chicken when I see one.  He was a puppy he was not a chicken.

There was also a new puppy Nelson.  His Mom said that was because of Willie Nelson.  I don’t know who that is.  Nelson was fun he was not afraid of me he jumped on my back and we played.  Jasmine was there, too.  She is a Golden Retriever.  I got in trouble because I humped her too much and made her hide behind her Mom’s legs under a chair.  Taffy Two was still there, she grew a lot, like me.  I love Jasmine.  Jasmine does not love me.

I want to show you my teeth and my nose.  These are the tools of my trade.  Mom said my trade is destruction and I excel at my trade.  My nose makes me get in trouble.  Last night Dad made fried shrimp it drove me crazy I didn’t get any but I got in trouble for trying to take one.  I had to go in my crate with a bone so Dad could eat in peace whatever that means.  I smelled 10,000 things in one day not my fault.  Mom and Dad say “TAKODA GET DOWN” all the time now I can reach the counter and the table.   I don’t like raw onions.

Today Mom and Dad put me in the truck and we drove and drove.  It was snowing, the truck made me nervous I wanted to stay home.  We went to a place in the mountains I had to be on a leash in the snow too many new smells.  We went into a foreclosure, Mom had to take pictures there.  It was cold and it made me nervous I didn’t like the foreclosure, it did not feel happy.  I thought they would leave me I was scared.  Mom picked me up and put me in the truck I was very glad so I went to sleep.

These teeth are the tools of my trade.  Destruction.  Dad said they are fish hooks, he calls me “Grip.”  Mom said they are needles.  They hurt unless I have an ice cube or a cold bone to gnaw.  Chewing on Mom helps, too but she does not like that.  She said I am a pain in the ass and the hand and the ankle and I like boots but they won’t give me boots.  I eat snow.  Dad got me a toy box made of wood, I chew it on the corners.

Sometimes I get bored.  It has been very cold, I like cold I have thick fur but not this cold.  I have to stay indoors too much and Mom has only walked me once a day instead of two times.  Dad takes me in the truck but the gravel man came with a dump truck for the driveway I was not allowed out he said I might get rocks on my head dangerous.

I got bored I had to do destruction.  Mom and Dad said it could have been worse.  I put my blanket with Dad’s blanket.  I emptied the trash.  I tore up the mail so they don’t have to use the shredder.  I ate part of the magazine so they don’t have to read it.

Even though the cats don’t think I like them, I pulled the stuffing out of their toy so they don’t have to do it.  I like to do destruction it feels good.  I don’t mind helping, it only takes a few minutes I have time.  I have to stop biting I am trying very hard.  Mom and Dad did not bleed this week at all, I heard them say that is good.  Also I am learning to stay DOWN.

Mom and I go to obedience class this week.  I think they will let me do destruction there.