I have a sweater and a duck and some bones to gnaw. Mom gave me her sweater it is blue I put my head on it for my nap. Sometimes I fight with my sweater I love my sweater it smells like Mom. I have a duck it squeaks I like the duck it honks. I get bones I am a lucky dog and I am very attractive, also. See for yourself.
I had a big morning, I ran. I ran all over the neighbor’s farm and came home after Mom and Dad said I had to I ran, I ran. I almost fell asleep in my water bowl, soooo tired. Mom said I will get vanilla consequences later today.
Mom tried to kill me with hot dogs but it did not work I am fine. We went to obedience training class the lady said to bring 50-100 pieces of soft treats to reward dogs when they learn new things. She said you can bring chicken hot dogs, cooked for 4 minutes, drained and diced up. Or string cheese or store bought treats. Mom bought cheap red hot dogs and did not cook them. Dad sliced them and put them in a bag. Mom and I went to school.
When we got there I made a very impressive entrance I was excited I ran to the building and jumped on the door. Mom caught up with me opened the door I dragged her down the hall I like new places. We had to go up stairs, metal stairs with open backs I did not like that at all. I was scared. Then I heard DOGS! I RAN! I pushed open the gate to a big room there were DOGS! I jumped on the counter they said “Who is this wild dog?” Mom said my name is Takoda I am very excited. I pulled Mom into the room she was holding on to my leash and trying to get me to sit I did not listen I ran I barked my best loud bark I ran. Everyone was looking at us, probably because I am handsome. Mom was rolling her eyes and telling me to be still.
We found our place the room has four quadrants divided by fence our quadrant was me and another dog his name is Loose. The other quadrants had 5 or 6 dogs each, Loose and I are special it was just us two. I got a new collar, first they put a training collar on me it did not work I could not breathe I could still pull Mom. Then they put a pinch collar on me I did not like that Mom learned to snap the leash to pinch the collar I sat right down every time. Mom liked that, I drag her a lot.
We got treats for everything at school I liked that. We got 10 treats for learning our names. We got 10 treats for sit. The trainer Val picked me to demonstrate sit, probably because I am handsome. The other lady said I have a “beautiful sit” I like that I am handsome I have a beautiful sit. Then we did sit/stay 10 times I got 10 more pieces of hot dog. Then we played a game with the treats I got 10 more pieces of hot dog. The trainer Val said my pieces of hot dog were kind of big I was sure getting a lot of hot dog I was I liked it. Val said Mom should have cooked those hot dogs.
After I got trained we were going to go home the trainer Val said she would walk me down the steps she was afraid I would pull Mom down. I did not want to go down those metal steps they make noise other dogs made noise on them. Val took me down one set of steps to the landing I sat down. She let me sit and then I smelled everything there was nothing left to do but go down the next steps. Val sat on the steps with me and made me wait a while. Then Mom took me to the car I was a GOOD DOG that night.
Then I got a tummy ache it was bad. Mom said she could hear my stomach making sounds. I had to go outside and do my business it was ugly. My tummy hurt for two days Mom said I had the trots no more hot dogs she said she did not mean to kill me I am alive it is okay but it hurt. The next time we went to school Mom had string cheese in tiny pieces and training treats from the dog store my tummy did not hurt. I sat, I stayed, I came when called and I got a lot of treats it was fun. I was not afraid of the stairs this time I am a BIG BOY. I got to play with Loose, too. Mom and I practice our commands a lot she is learning to be in control of me because I am wild. We go back Tuesday I like it.
Sometimes when Mom and Dad are busy I stay on the deck I like it. I can see birds and rabbits and deer one day I saw a turkey it made me crazy I wanted it. There is shade and a water bowl I can hear the other dogs barking so I know where they are. The deck has a gate with a latch I like the deck.
A few days ago Mom and Dad put me on the deck I OPENED THE GATE! I RAN! I am smart I opened the gate I ran! Dad came out the front door to get me I was gone I ran! Dad yelled, “TAKODA COME!” I ran.
I ran next door to see Daisy 2 no name stray dog we ran. I ran to the park I ran to the neighbors they called Mom and Dad my tag says to call for $reward they did. I don’t know $reward but they called they did not keep me, I got away I ran their German Shepherd is old I ran. It was getting dark Mom and Dad walked and drove all over our mountain I ran it was fun. I decided to go home I was hungry Mom said I stunk I had to go to the beauty parlor and get consequences the next day then I smelled good I was shiny. Dad said I am prettier than the lady on the Weather Channel. I am handsome.
There is a lock on my gate now I can’t open it. Mom and Dad have to do it after my leash is on I don’t have thumbs.
I am Mom’s first dog. She says I am a challenge and a pain and a joy. Almost every day, Mom says there is something she did not know about dogs until she got me and I started to grow. She loves me I am a pain I like to run I am a pain. Mom likes to look into my eyes and talk to me and she likes when I cock my head and seem to listen and I am cute. I run. I am a pain in the ass I think that is good because Mom says that then she hugs me and says it again. In the car we look at each other Mom says it is dangerous roads curve she cannot look in my eyes. I put my head on the CD holder armrest thing I sleep, Mom puts her hand on my eyes to stop the sun she loves me.
Mom says she did not know these things because she never had a dog:
- Dogs are a pain, more than Mom imagined, I think I am more than Mom bargained for I am special
- Puppies gain 40 pounds in 3 months they pull on the leash it is dangerous, I am big and strong I run
- I run I need a job I run I am fast I run
- Puppy needle teeth fall out in the house, Dad put them on the table Mom said “disgusting” those teeth are gone they were sharp but now I have big white teeth I get new teeth every week they are different
- Puppies poop like grown men every day sometimes more it stinks it takes time
- Every night some animal takes my poop, Mom and Dad like that they said it sure makes things easy maybe some animal gets nutrition they are not sure I don’t know nutritions yet it sounds good
- I am into decaying animals it it bad I stink It means a bath and consequences, Mom and Dad get mad they say I am inconvenient
- I want to run all the time I run I go see Daisy 2 when I get out Mom and Dad put a double lock on the gate I ate a plant Dracena, Mom thought it froze it looked bad I ate it that is why it looked bad
I got in trouble this week and I started school I went to daycare I will tell you later.
Yesterday the sun was out and it was 80 degrees. Mom and Dad took me to the Bywater Pub in Asheville to celebrate. I met 5 new dog friends and 2 cute little girls. Everyone petted me and fussed over me I am handsome. Everyone said I am SO BIG for 5 months it is true I am big. Yesterday made me 5 months old I am very large for a puppy.
Mom and Dad said I was a good boy and Mom got me a hot dog from Teau Food. It was delicious I want another one. I want to go back there soon. Mom said it is their favorite hangout in the summer we will go back I can’t wait I want to go now. My Mom does not really have a pole sticking out of her head.
You know why? Because that giant 50 pound cat-chasing idiot is IN IT today. That means Rory Gallagher has full run of the place without being chased by the monster. I am Rory Gallagher, a fine cat. This is me in Dad’s trailer. Cute, yes? Mom says I have pumpkin pie eyes because they are orange-y brown like that pie. I took Takoda’s password so I could write this. He won’t like it but I don’t care.
My brother-cat is Amos, he is 14 or 15 so he sleeps a lot. He hates the dog even more than I do. Takoda ruined our lives. Takoda thinks Amos and I belong in the bedroom so he chases us back every time we try to go into the living room. He eats our food, too. He inhales a bowl of crunchiness like it is air. He is a glutton. A pig. A smelly dog.
Amos is brave, he is a fighter.
He will face off with that dog and hiss and scratch his nose. Amos won’t let Takoda in our room, he has that dog in his place. I hide behind Amos whenever I can. Why should I risk this face if I can hide behind Amos the Warrior?
Takoda likes to chase me, I hate him. He is nuts. It was bad enough when I had to face off with hens, they were intimidating, but I was not afraid. Mom and Dad say Takoda just wants to play. That may be, but he wants to play “eat the kitty” so I have to be very, very cautious. Stealthy. Sneaky. Prepared at all times. I stay outside and catch mice and voles all day. I watch Takoda from the tall grass I know all there is to know and he is too dumb to figure it out. I see his every move.
Amos and I get to sleep in the bed with Mom and Dad. I like to play at 4:30 a.m. No one else does. Takoda has to stay in the living room. That’s good, otherwise I would have to watch him all night. I can’t be everywhere all the time. I have work to do. I want to learn to open the gate to let the dog out so he will get lost. I watch how it’s done, if I had thumbs this would all be over. At least we have doggie daycare.
I brought a dead raccoon to Mom and Dad today. They were not as pleased as I hoped they would be, it smelled bad it was a furry skeleton with a full tail I was proud. Mom said she will spare you the picture it is very bad.
I had consequences again, vanilla bath consequences. I did not like that I was wet and I smelled like a cookie. Mom and Dad said “TOO BAD, Takoda.” I can’t go out now because it is chilly and I am wet Dad said I might get sick so I shredded my pee pad for fun. They said I am pushing it. I don’t know what it is how can I be pushing it? Mom said I go to daycare tomorrow so she can spring clean I want to play run play bite run.
The other dogs will think I smell funny from consequences I wonder if they get consequences, too?
Takoda here. Most days I am allowed to go next door for a little while and play with my friend. My friend is long-legged and skinny, a stray and he is young like me he is brindle stripey. He stays with a man who does not want him but no one can catch him he is too fast. The man feeds him but his other dogs get the food they are very big and strong. He runs faster than me that is very super fast. Mom and Dad thought he was a girl-dog Mom said “she” looked like my Uncle Robert and Aunt Karen’s dog Daisy, who is a Plott Hound, the state dog of North Carolina. I want to the be state dog of North Carolina. I am very handsome I should be the state dog. Daisy lives in California so I do not understand why she is the state dog of North Carolina that does not make sense. Vote for Takoda state dog! My cousin Daisy is cute she can be state dog of California.
My friend is too skinny he does not get as much food as I do Mom said his hip bones make her sad. Mom and Dad try to feed him but he is afraid of all people. Sometimes Dad puts food on his driveway for him. Mom calls my friend Daisy 2 she thought he was a girl until this week. Mom has wanted to catch Daisy 2 and have her fixed so she won’t have puppies that nobody loves. I don’t know why anybody would not want to love a puppy. That is dumb, puppies are the best things ever just look at me I am a puppy everybody loves me. Mom has tried to get a picture of Daisy 2 but he is too fast.
This week my Mom’s friend Elizabeth from San Diego came to visit I loved her. San Diego is in California I wonder if she knows Daisy? Elizabeth brought me a rope toy with bones I like it. Mom and her friend Elizabeth took me for a walk to the river we saw my friend Daisy 2 and Mom said he has a pee-pee now he is a boy so we won’t have puppies that is good. But Mom said she still wants to get Daisy 2 fixed so he won’t make puppies and she does not want me to make puppies. I don’t know how to make puppies I don’t care we went to the river! Mom made me stay on my leash but I got to run in the creek and I got to jump in the river I love cold water on my paws. Then I jumped on Mom with wet paws and got her shirt and pants wet she said “Oh Takoda get down!” I tried to jump on Elizabeth but Mom made my leash short Elizabeth said I am very good dog. There was a man at the river he smiled he did not have many teeth I think his puppy teeth fell out I smelled him he smelled okay. I loved Elizabeth she let me sleep next to her bed. Mom and Dad sleep with cats I loved Elizabeth.
Elizabeth has a dog her name is Gracie I don’t know her. Mom and Elizabeth talked about Gracie they said she runs she likes to chase rabbits she likes snow and being unruly I would like to play with Gracie. Mom and Elizabeth and Gracie used to live in Illinois near each other they miss each other. Gracie goes on a kayak and hikes. I like to hike. I don’t know kayak what is that? Gracie could be the state dog of California she is very cute but she got in trouble at her hiking class I like that. I get in trouble all the time. After we went to the river, we came home and Mom and Elizabeth talked and talked and talked they said they had not seen each other in two and a half years a very long time. At midnight, Mom took me out to do my business I ran. I ran and my leash broke and I was free it was a beautiful warm night I went to see my friends. Mom was upset she said I scared her I was sorry but only a little sorry because I saw Daisy 2 and Esa and Sam next door and the moon was out we ran. Mom said she could not go to bed until I got home I made her worry but I came back it was not that long. It was a good day I slept on Elizabeth’s floor.
Elizabeth can fly she flew back to California all by herself. My Mom and Dad cannot fly, they walk I did not know any people could fly. I wonder if Gracie can fly? I want to fly, I run. Mom said she just saw this picture of Gracie on Facebook with a dirty face. I get dirty face too I might love Gracie.
Mom said I am finally a normal dog. I am a big boy now. I get in the car by myself and I put my head out the window this means I am normal. Mom holds onto me though she said I might lunge at something because I am just a puppy. I am not a puppy I am a big dog. Mom is wrong about that but I like the car I am normal.