Tag Archives: puppy school

Training Mom

I am Mom’s first dog.   She says I am a challenge and a pain and a joy.   Almost every day, Mom says there is something she did not know about dogs until she got me and I started to grow.  She loves me I am a pain I like to run I am a pain.   Mom likes to look into my eyes and talk to me and she likes when I cock my head and seem to listen and I am cute.  I run. I am a pain in the ass I think that is good because Mom says that then she hugs me and says it again.   In the car we look at each other Mom says it is dangerous roads curve she cannot look in my eyes.   I put my head on the CD holder armrest thing I sleep, Mom puts her hand on my eyes to stop the sun she loves me.

Mom says she did not know these things because she never had a dog:

  • Dogs are a pain, more than Mom imagined, I think I am more than Mom bargained for I am special
  • Puppies gain 40 pounds in 3 months they pull on the leash it is dangerous, I am big and strong I run
  • I run I need a job I run I am fast I run
  • Puppy needle teeth fall out in the house, Dad put them on the table Mom said “disgusting” those teeth are gone they were sharp but now I have big white teeth I get new teeth every week they are different
  • Puppies poop like grown men every day sometimes more it stinks it takes time
  • Every night some animal takes my poop, Mom and Dad like that they said it sure makes things easy maybe some animal gets nutrition they are not sure I don’t know nutritions yet it sounds good
  • I am into decaying animals it it bad I stink It means a bath and consequences, Mom and Dad get mad they say I am inconvenient
  • I want to run all the time I run I go see Daisy 2 when I get out Mom and Dad put a double lock on the gate I ate a plant Dracena, Mom thought it froze it looked bad I ate it that is why it looked bad

I got in trouble this week and I started school I went to daycare I will tell you later.

Puppy Class

Takoda here.  Mom is asleep, I got the laptop.  What a day I had yesterday!  First, Mom put me in the car.  I don’t like the car, it makes me dizzy, I whimper.  Mom says if I get in the car every day I will like it, she said I am not a regular dog or I would like the car.  I don’t like the car.  We went to Alexander Park.  I ran, ran, ran.  We went up a trail, I ran.  Mom ran to keep up.  She had on a hike-belt with water bottle and puppy treats.  When Mom ran, she sounded like a bag of garbage chasing me, it scared me at first.  Up hill, down hill, I ran, ran, ran.  Mom made me sit while she took a picture I did not want to sit still at all. photo (14) But I got treats and some water in my bowl I liked that.  Mom said I would see turkey vultures and rabbits I did not see anything but ferns and footprints.  We walked and ran for 50 minutes.  We went home, Dad walked me around the Big Loop in the field.  I chased Rory Gallagher I got in trouble.  Mom walked me down to the mailbox.  She said I had to walk a lot today because we were going to Puppy Class and I needed to be tired for Puppy Class.  I was tired.  I was sleeping, Mom made me get up and put me in the car again, I didn’t like that.

I woke up at Dr. Wootten’s office I thought I would see Dr. Wootten and Linda but Mom took me to a different door.  I pulled and tried to go to the door I know.  Mom made me go to the other door, there were puppies!  I got very excited, very excited, very fast.  We went in and there were tiny puppies in a fence, and outside the fence an English bulldog puppy with his Dad.  His name was Wheezer.  There were toys on the floor and bowls of water and there were ladies in blue who let me jump up and said I was very soft and cute.  I like that.  I had to be on my leash until they said I could play, that was hard for me, Mom made me SIT with all that going on!  Then Caramel came in, a red tick hound.  Then Laia, a Border Collie mix.  Then Jasmine, a Golden Retriever, then Taffy Two, a yellow Lab.  Laia was crazy she shrieked and shrieked.  Then a blue lady talked for a while and said “take them off their leashes now” and the people did, puppies went crazy!  They ran, ran, ran, sniffed noses, butts.  Some puppies peed indoors, but no one got in trouble.  I did not pee the whole time I was good. Wheezer, Caramel, Jasmine, Laia, Taffy Two, they were all in a pile, a wiggly group, sniffing, sniffing.  Wheezer humped Jasmine then Taffy Two.  Taffy Two was only a baby but Wheezer he liked her a lot if you know what I mean.  The blue ladies got Wheezer away from little Taffy Two.  All the puppies ran and sniffed, they knew each other from last time, I did not like that.

photo (12)I stayed back, watched, went to the people one by one, I got treats from all.  One lady said I could be a politician.  Then I sniffed dogs, but they yelped and barked and jumped I went behind a chair to wait.  I did not like the puppies all at once.

Mom said if this was Puppy Hump Class, Wheezer would graduate at the top of the class.  Wheezer’s Dad said “He is flunking.”  Wheezer chased all the girl dogs and boy dogs, humped them from all sides.  Mom said he was acting like Carlos Danger.  Wheezer tried to hump me I am bigger he could not do it, but his Mom was embarrassed, said he had a one track mind.

One of the blue ladies put me in a little pen, she was going to give me a baby Cocker Spaniel to play with because I was timid.  Mom was in the pen with me, I was watching the other puppies, I got excited and wanted to play with them.  The blue lady let me out.  I got in the pile, it was fun, but one dog barked too much.  And Wheezer kept humping, humping.  So I humped Taffy Two, I got in trouble because she’s just a baby.  Her Dad said, “He is ALL BOY” to my Mom and she rolled her eyes.  Then I chased Jasmine, I humped her, Jasmine’s Mom thought it was funny.  One of the blue ladies separated us and she said it is a domination thing, not a sex thing.  Another lady said Wheezer wanted sex slaves.  It was all very confusing.  I don’t know what sex is.  Or domination.  I just know it was fun.  Mom said I can go back next photo 2 (2)week because I was a GOOD BOY.