Tag Archives: takoda

The Gate

gate latchSometimes when Mom and Dad are busy I stay on the deck I like it.  I can see birds and rabbits and deer one day I saw a turkey it made me crazy I wanted it.   There is shade and a water bowl I can hear the other dogs barking so I know where they are.   The deck has a gate with a latch I like the deck.

A few days ago Mom and Dad put me on the deck I OPENED THE GATE!  I RAN!  I am smart I opened the gate I ran!  Dad came out the front door to get me I was gone I ran!   Dad yelled, “TAKODA COME!”  I ran.

I ran next door to see Daisy 2 no name stray dog we ran.  I ran to the park I ran to the neighbors they called Mom and Dad my tag says to call for $reward they did.  I don’t know $reward but they called they did not keep me, I got away I ran their German Shepherd is old I ran.  It was getting dark Mom and Dad walked and drove all over our mountain I ran it was fun.  I decided to go home I was hungry Mom said I stunk I had to go to the beauty parlor and get consequences the next day then I smelled good I was shiny.  Dad said I am prettier than the lady on the Weather Channel.  I am handsome. dog on deck

There is a lock on my gate now I can’t open it.  Mom and Dad have to do it after my leash is on I don’t have thumbs.

Training Mom

I am Mom’s first dog.   She says I am a challenge and a pain and a joy.   Almost every day, Mom says there is something she did not know about dogs until she got me and I started to grow.  She loves me I am a pain I like to run I am a pain.   Mom likes to look into my eyes and talk to me and she likes when I cock my head and seem to listen and I am cute.  I run. I am a pain in the ass I think that is good because Mom says that then she hugs me and says it again.   In the car we look at each other Mom says it is dangerous roads curve she cannot look in my eyes.   I put my head on the CD holder armrest thing I sleep, Mom puts her hand on my eyes to stop the sun she loves me.

Mom says she did not know these things because she never had a dog:

  • Dogs are a pain, more than Mom imagined, I think I am more than Mom bargained for I am special
  • Puppies gain 40 pounds in 3 months they pull on the leash it is dangerous, I am big and strong I run
  • I run I need a job I run I am fast I run
  • Puppy needle teeth fall out in the house, Dad put them on the table Mom said “disgusting” those teeth are gone they were sharp but now I have big white teeth I get new teeth every week they are different
  • Puppies poop like grown men every day sometimes more it stinks it takes time
  • Every night some animal takes my poop, Mom and Dad like that they said it sure makes things easy maybe some animal gets nutrition they are not sure I don’t know nutritions yet it sounds good
  • I am into decaying animals it it bad I stink It means a bath and consequences, Mom and Dad get mad they say I am inconvenient
  • I want to run all the time I run I go see Daisy 2 when I get out Mom and Dad put a double lock on the gate I ate a plant Dracena, Mom thought it froze it looked bad I ate it that is why it looked bad

I got in trouble this week and I started school I went to daycare I will tell you later.

Bywater

The BywaterYesterday the sun was out and it was 80 degrees.   Mom and Dad took me to the Bywater Pub in Asheville to celebrate.  I met 5 new dog friends and 2 cute little girls.  Everyone petted me and fussed over me I am handsome.  Everyone said I am SO BIG for 5 months it is true I am big.  Yesterday made me 5 months old I am very large for a puppy.

Mom and Dad said I was a good boy and Mom got me a hot dog from Teau Food.  It was delicious I want another one.   I want to go back there soon.  Mom said it is their favorite hangout in the summer we will go back I can’t wait I want to go now.  My Mom does not really have a pole sticking out of her head.

I Love Doggie Daycare!

You know why?  Because that giant 50 pound cat-chasing idiot is IN IT today.  That means Rory Gallagher has full run of the place without being chased by the monster.  I am Rory Gallagher, a fine cat.   This is me in Dad’s trailer.  Cute, yes?  Mom says I have pumpkin pie eyes because they are orange-y brown like that pie.  I took Takoda’s password so I could write this.  He won’t like it but I don’t care.Rory Gallagher

My brother-cat is Amos, he is 14 or 15 so he sleeps a lot.   He hates the dog even more than I do.  Takoda ruined our lives. Takoda thinks Amos and I belong in the bedroom so he chases us back every time we try to go into the living room.  He eats our food, too.  He inhales a bowl of crunchiness like it is air.  He is a glutton.  A pig.  A smelly dog.

Amos

 

Amos is brave, he is a fighter.

He will face off with that dog and hiss and scratch his nose.  Amos won’t let Takoda in our room, he has that dog in his place.  I hide behind Amos whenever I can.  Why should I risk this face if I can hide behind Amos the Warrior?

Takoda likes to chase me, I hate him.  He is nuts.  It was bad enough when I had to face off with hens, they were intimidating, but I was not afraid.  Mom and Dad say Takoda just wants to play.  That may be, but he wants to play “eat the kitty” so I have to  be very, very cautious.   Stealthy.  Sneaky.  Prepared at all times.  I stay outside and catch mice and voles all day.  I watch Takoda from the tall grass I know all there is to know and he is too dumb to figure it out.   I see his every move.

Amos and I get to sleep in the bed with Mom and Dad.  I like to play at 4:30 a.m.  No one else does.  Takoda has to stay in the living room.  That’s good, otherwise I would have to watch him  all night.  I can’t be everywhere all the time.  I have work to do.   I want to learn  to open the gate to let the dog out so he will get lost.  I watch how it’s done, if I had thumbs this would all be over.  At least we have doggie daycare.

 

Bath Time

I brought a dead raccoon to Mom and Dad today.  They were not as pleased as I hoped they would be, it smelled bad it was a furry skeleton with a full tail I was proud.  Mom said she will spare you the picture it is very bad.

I had consequences again, vanilla bath consequences.  I did not like that I was wet and I smelled like a cookie.  Mom and Dad said “TOO BAD, Takoda.”  I can’t go out now because it is chilly and I am wet Dad said I might get sick so I shredded my pee pad for fun.   They said I am pushing it.  I don’t know what it is how can I be pushing it?  Mom said I go to daycare tomorrow so she can spring clean I want to play run play bite run.

The other dogs will think I smell funny from consequences I wonder if they get consequences, too?

State Dog?

State Dog Material
State Dog Material

Takoda here.  Most days I am allowed to go next door for a little while and play with my friend.  My friend is long-legged and skinny, a stray and he is young like me he is brindle stripey.  He stays with a man who does not want him but no one can catch him he is too fast.  The man feeds him but his other dogs get the food they are very big and strong.  He runs faster than me that is very super fast.  Mom and Dad thought he was a girl-dog Mom said “she” looked like my Uncle Robert and Aunt Karen’s dog Daisy, who is a Plott Hound, the state dog of North Carolina.  I want to the be state dog of North Carolina.  I am very handsome I should be the state dog.  Daisy lives in California so I do not understand why she is the state dog of North Carolina that does not make sense.  Vote for Takoda state dog!  My cousin Daisy is cute she can be state dog of California.

Daisy of CA
Daisy of CA

My friend is too skinny he does not get as much food as I do Mom said his hip bones make her sad.  Mom and Dad try to feed him but he is afraid of all people.  Sometimes Dad puts food on his driveway for him.   Mom calls my friend Daisy 2 she thought he was a girl until this week.  Mom has wanted to catch Daisy 2 and have her fixed so she won’t have puppies that nobody loves.  I don’t know why anybody would not want to love a puppy.  That is dumb, puppies are the best things ever just look at me I am a puppy everybody loves me.  Mom has tried to get a picture of Daisy 2 but he is too fast.

This week my Mom’s friend Elizabeth from San Diego came to visit I loved her.  San Diego is in California I wonder if she knows Daisy?  Elizabeth brought me a rope toy with bones I like it.  Mom and her friend Elizabeth took me for a walk to the river we saw my friend Daisy 2 and Mom said he has a pee-pee now he is a boy so we won’t have puppies that is good.  But Mom said she still wants to get Daisy 2 fixed so he won’t make puppies and she does not want me to make puppies.  I don’t know how to make puppies I don’t care we went to the river!  Mom made me stay on my leash but I got to run in the creek and I got to jump in the river I love cold water on my paws.  Then I jumped on Mom with wet paws and got her shirt and pants wet she said “Oh Takoda get down!”  I tried to jump on Elizabeth but Mom made my leash short Elizabeth said I am very good dog.  There was a man at the river he smiled he did not have many teeth I think his puppy teeth fell out I smelled him he smelled okay.  I loved Elizabeth she let me sleep next to her bed.  Mom and Dad sleep with cats I loved Elizabeth.

Elizabeth has a dog her name is Gracie I don’t know her.  Mom and Elizabeth talked about Gracie they said she runs she likes to chase rabbits she likes snow and being unruly I would like to play with Gracie.  Mom and Elizabeth and Gracie used to live in Illinois near each other they miss each other.  Gracie goes on a kayak and hikes.  I like to hike.  I don’t know kayak what is that?  Gracie could be the state dog of California she is very cute but she got in trouble at her hiking class I like that.  I get in trouble all the time.  After we went to the river, we came home and Mom and Elizabeth talked and talked and talked they said they had not seen each other in two and a half years a very long time.  At midnight, Mom took me out to do my business I ran.  I ran and my leash broke and I was free it was a beautiful warm night I went to see my friends.  Mom was upset she said I scared her I was sorry but only a little sorry because I saw Daisy 2 and Esa and Sam next door and the moon was out we ran.  Mom said she could not go to bed until I got home I made her worry but I came back it was not that long.   It was a good day I slept on Elizabeth’s floor.

Gracie of CA
Gracie of CA

Elizabeth can fly she flew back to California all by herself.  My Mom and Dad cannot fly, they walk I did not know any people could fly.  I wonder if Gracie can fly?  I want to fly, I run.  Mom said she just saw this picture of Gracie on Facebook with a dirty face.  I get dirty face too I might love Gracie.

Normal Dog!!

Mom said I am finally a normal dog.  I am a big boy now.  IMG_0505I get in the car by myself and I put my head out the window this means I am normal.  Mom holds onto me though she said I might lunge at something because I am just a puppy.  I am not a puppy I am a big dog.  Mom is wrong about that but I like the car I am normal.
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Consequences

My big dog teeth came in, they are white and strong and I can bite harder it is impressive.  I like that.  I like to try out my big dog teeth.  Last night Mom and Dad both had to take something out of my mouth it took two I am strong and handsome.

Tonight before supper Daddy let me out to do my business I ran away to the creek.  I stayed gone I got in trouble.  I could hear Dad whistle and call “Takoda, come!” and “Takoda, treat!” but I did not do that I did not care.  I was in the creek it felt cold to my paws I like that I like mud.  Then I found something special; smelly, special, old meat.  It was most of a deer I liked it.

Dad kept calling me I was busy I did not want to listen.  But it was supper time I went home I brought it with me.  Dad said, “Takoda, is that a snake?”  I ran.  He followed me it was a game I ran.  I ran out to the field around the circle.  Dad came he yelled at me to give him the snake it was not a snake I ran.  Dad said I could not make him run, I tried he did not run he said stop I ran.

I ran to the house, Dad said “TAKODA DROP IT!”  I did not drop it Dad finally got my collar.  “Takoda that stinks drop it!”  I ran.  Dad caught the leg he had the hoof he said it was gross I pulled on it I liked it but it did smell. Dad took the leg from me he made me go in the house I smelled bad.  I was very dirty he said I stunk he said stay off the couch don’t move.  I could tell Dad was mad or disgusted.  Mom was at a meeting, Dad said “Wait ’til your Mom gets home bad dog.”  I found the leg of a dead fawn in the creek I liked it, It smelled bad it was mine.  I brought it home Dad said it was very, very gross.  It was not gross it was MINE but Dad took it he did not like it on his hands he washed his hands.

Mom came h20140305-081628.jpgome she had food in a bag she said it was from meeting, I wanted it Dad made me SIT TAKODA.  He said to Mom, “Wait until you hear this, he smells awful.”  Mom heard the story then she said it smelled bad in our house it was me.  Dad said I had to get in the tub I don’t like that I did not want the big wind machine like at the Pet Spa.

Mom ran a bath I would not get in, Dad picked up my back Mom picked up my front they put me in the tub Dad scrubbed, Mom scrubbed, Mom wore an apron.  I shivered I did not like it but I was very brave I did not cry.  The water was brown.  Dad had a plastic jug he put water on me a lot I did not like it, but they said I had to BE STILL and get clean.  They said bringing home the stinky fawn leg had CONSEQUENCES.  I don’t like consequences they are foamy and vanilla bean and I did not smell like a dog after consequences.  Mom said I did not have to have consequences it was up to me.  I don’t understand how it is up to me.  Mom laughed at the zig zag hair on my ears.  Image

Then they put me in towels and dried me and I liked that it felt like hugs.  I got to be in front of the fireplace and then I got my supper so maybe consequences are not too bad except for the bath part.  Mom and Dad said I undid the spa day in a big way.  Dad said “What are we going to do with that deer leg?” and Mom said she did not know but she does not want to see the rest of that thing.  I know where it is and I want it but I don’t want consequences especially vanilla.

I got a bone to chew and I am in bed so tired I am damp I have a blanket, Dad said go to sleep NOW.  Image

Thpa Day

IMG_0471Thith week, Mom took me hiking at Alexthander Park and on the Rattlethnake Lodge Trail we hiked a lot I was happy.  There were not any rattlethnakes I wath dithappointed by that.  All my puppy teeth have gone, I have big dog teeth in thpots but in thome plathes I have no theeth, juth gumth that hurt.  Altho I ran away for one hour and thcared Mom and Dad.  I wath very muddy and wet when I came back, I don’t know what I did, but I wath tho, tho tired.  Thith week my gumth were bleeding thome.IMG_0474

Mom took me to a dog thpa today I wath thcared.  We went at 1:30, Mom athked when to come back for me they thaid “We will call you, it dependth on how he doeth.” Mom thaid the would prefer to thtay with me, they thaid no, they thaid I wath in good handth.  Mom knew I would be nervouth.  I wath.  I didn’t want Mom to leave, but the did and the thaid “I will be back Takoda, thettle down.”  Then the gave me thome treats and hugged me.  I think the felt guilty for leaving me, but the wanted me to be all clean and handthome.  There wath a little gate between the front door and another before the thpa, Mom put me in the little room I did not like it when the left.

I heard them talking, they thaid I was going to get a Paw-dicure and a fathial, then I would get my undercoat removed, thith thcared me to death becauth I didn’t know what my undercoat wath.  I didn’t know what a Paw-dicure or a fathial was either.  I wath hoping thingth would not hurt.  My gumth hurt.

When Mom left, the ladieth at the Pet Thpa took me back to the room.  They put thmelly thtuff on my fathe and rubbed my fathe real thlow, it felt good I felt better.  Then they mathaged my pawth and they thanded them down thmooth like I wath a houth dog like I don’t need tough padth but I do.  They cut my clawth and thanded them, too.  Then they wathed me with thoap I did not like that one bit they thcrubbed my whole body, I didn’t even know them they touched my whole body.  Then they got a big mathine with wind and thprayed my body with it, I was crying and thaking, I thought they would kill me and they took my undercoat with a bruth with thome kind of thaver thing in it the pile of fur was huge I thought I would be naked I cried.  They thaid I would not thed ath much in the thpring without my undercoat I don’t like what they did to me.

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The ladieth worked thlow in my opinion, I wath at the Pet Thpa for three hourth way too long.  There wath a Labradoodle there I liked him but hith breed name is dumb.  I wath THO glad when Mom came back to get me.  I barked and jumped and barked and jumped and I wath tho exthited!!!  Mom put my leath on, the paid the ladieth the made a fathe when the paid them.  We went outthide tho I could do my buthiness.  Mom thaid I wath beautiful and thiny and I wath a handthome GOOD BOY.  I like that.

IMG_0533We got in the car I went to thleep in 5 thecondth becauthe I wath thtrethed out.  I do look real, real good.  The puppy nexth door ith going to thwoon when the theeth me.  I got a thcarf with airplaneth and trainth on it, it wath thtupid, Mom took it off becauthe I wath chewing on it.  I hope I never go to the Thpa again but I heard Mom and Dad talking, they thaid I will.  I hope they forget I will thtay cleaner tho they forget.

When we got home we went to the top of our hill, Mom and Dad had treeth taken out becauth we are getting a new houth thoon.  There were big, big pileth of thawduth and I forgot about thtaying clean I ran up and rolled down the thawduth.  Mom thaid I undid the Thpa I did not I may be thcarred for life but the thaid I am not going back any time thoon I am tho happy!

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Mom thaid if a lot of people like thith thtory and thare it the will let me have my own blog tho I can write a lot more the will let me uthe her laptop.  I like that.

You Have Gone TOO FAR

My puppy teeth are coming out Mom thaid that ith good, but it makth me talk funny.  I have big dog teeth and puppy teeth now they are mixthed up and I have to chew thingth.  I did dethtruction three timth thith week and today Mom thaid, “TAKODA, YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR.”  

I thought I wath going to obedienth training lath week, but the lady canthIMG_0103eled it becauth it thnowed and the thchools were clothed.  Mom and I played in the thnow.  I liked that.  But then I got bored tho I did dethtruction.  I wath going to do my dethtruction at obedienth thchool inthead of home but they left me no choith.  I did it at home.  Firth, Mom had to work.  Dad thent her thith picture on hith phone that wath the firth time I got in trouble thith week.

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Dad thaid, “I hope you were finithed with thith People Magathine becauth Takoda read it today.”  I only got in a little trouble becauth Mom had already read it.

Then I bit Mom a few timth, that alwayth makth her real mad but I wath bored it wath not my fault.  I leaned on her legth to thay “Leth go out in the thnow” and Mom did not lithen, tho I had to take acthion and I tore her coat tho Mom would go out with me.  Then I bit her panth and tore them.  Mom thaid I was a little thit and if I kept it up my name wath going to be changed to Thit inthead of Takoda.

Today, I woke Mom up really early.  We had quiet time and a treat and I got a tummy rub.  It wath nithe.  Then I got to go outthide to do my buthineth.  I found out the back door was cracked and there wath a bag of trath out on the porch.  I did dethtruction again.  That ith when Mom thaid “TAKODA, YOU HAVE GONE TO FAR!”  Mom took my rib bone away and I had to wait on the deck while Mom cleaned the porch.  Mom said I was an ath-hole.  I think the coffee groundth were the real problem, they didn’t want that bread or thoth bonth.

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Dad made ribth for the Thuper Bowl and I did not get any but I found them tho I helped mythelf.  I got in trouble.

Mom thaid they better not canthel my clath thith week, becauth I am dithobedient and a trouble-maker.  But Mom altho thaid I am very, very cute and that workth in my favor and altho my gumth hurt.  Mom and Dad laugh at me after they get mad.  I have heard them talk, I am adorable and cute and funny and thweet-natured, tho I get away with thom thingth.  My gumth hurt now.